LENGTH: 5 min read.
I'm not going to ask you how many times you've tried and failed.
Setting New Year's resolutions seems to be a much frequented activity in our culture. Fresh starts are lovely.
However, taking stock of our NY Resolution success/failure board, our emotions toward our resolutions often are associated with failure or the too-hard basket.
So what do we do? Shrug and stop conjuring up self-improvement tactics altogether.
Don't shed your stomach fat.
Remain stuck in your 30K credit card debt.
Perpetuate the cycle of casual flings and delay respecting yourself enough to find somebody that will truly understand and connect with you on a soul-level.
Don't meet somebody new.
Ok, you get the reverse psychology.
My blog is not a shame factory. I don't relish in people telling me how much they suck.
Failure is horrible. It's embarrassing and awkward. Shame is an awful feeling and I don't wish that upon any of us.
On the contrary, and I'm not just saying this, I do love hearing about people's wins.
I'm a single girl who loves weddings. I love love and the celebration of two people pursuing a lasting, committed covenant.
However what I love more is hearing about a wife helping her husband with his respiratory device every night before they cuddle and go to bed (husband has sleep apnoea).
I love hearing that my friend completely turned his life around by going to the gym at 6am every morning before work. He lost 40kg of excess fat and built muscle. His confidence sky rocketed. He decided to be a Trainer and now he is the most sought after Fitness Professional at my gym (if any of my gym friends are reading this, you probably know who I’m talking about. Figures are approximate).
I love seeing my girlfriend admit that she's sad about her date not texting her back, after years of repressing her emotions and maintaining the "cold ice woman" act. She's now honest, appropriately vulnerable and more understanding of people.
I love growth.
I love change (for the better).
I love solutions that (actually) work.
Notice where I led us?
Resolutions are choices. Decisions, if you will. Daily decisions.
Choice is proactive. Letting stuff just happen is passive.
When we decide to take action on something, we become responsible. We set ourselves up for expectation. But what if I fail? You might ask yourself. On the flip side, I'd like to ask you: What if you fly? What if the outcome is greater than the effort that you put in?
What if in deciding to make these little incremental changes you build a whole new muscle and skill set; and accomplish more than you did the year previous?
You’d still be winning regardless.
My best friend and her husband have a great relationship because they've decided to do little things every day to express their commitment to each other.
She decided she would operate his respiratory device, and he decided he'd tailor meals to suit her complex dietary needs every night.
My friend decided he'd get up at 5am every morning, do a class at 6am, and 7 months later he was as fit as every other PT. Thus, decided he would become one himself.
My girlfriend decided she would seek counselling about her emotional issues. Each session she would unload to her Counsellor, her Counsellor would listen and give advice. My friend grabbed it and applied the advice to her life, and month by month her anxiety and control issues gradually dissolved.
My Film Editor friend often gets asked whether filming and editing 10 hours of footage gets overwhelming. "I just break it up into bite size chunks", she said, as if this great piece of wisdom was as common as premium nut granola.
But what about if the task at hand is something you've never touched before? What if it could be likened to transporting a Mother elephant at Taronga zoo - rotund, largess and…overwhelmingly huge?
Step by step, day by day.
So here’s the premise, the magical-non-magical NY resolution that is guaranteed to work:
You decide daily.
You make a choice each morning to work for 5 minutes towards your goal.
It's how I increased my fitness, how I became a Slam Poet, how I began protecting my boundaries and growing in self respect; how my family became closer than ever before, how I accepted who I was and started to love being single.
We’ll even do it together. My resolution for 2016 is to write 100 posts. If you look at the side bar on the right (at the bottom if you’re reading this on a Smart Phone) I have written about 10 posts. 2 per week, 45 weeks of 2016 I will have completed this colossal task.
A famous novelist was asked by a fan once how he managed to publish 20 books, some of them New York Times Best Sellers.
The famous novelist replied, “200 crappy words per day”.
So start. It doesn’t have to be perfect. Whatever it is, you can google and research how to refine your technique. You can ask an expert for advice. You can pick yourself up again and get back on the grind.
You can email me and tell me how much you are struggling. You can completely throw shade on this post and tell me what I'm saying is total bulls***.
Up to you - but if you wanted the change so badly why don't you make yourself proud and just do it? Give lip to your excuses. Challenge them. Many of you reading this will be from a thriving Western country, so don't craft me a beautiful email telling me there is x y and z limitation for a street kid in Zambia.
In 2010 I taught ESL English to survivors of sex trafficking in Phnom Penh Cambodia and nothing stopped them from becoming better English speakers. They knew it would lead to better job opportunities. So if they could do it, so can you. No excuses.
You can also Facebook message me and vent about how hard the daily choice is... then relish in the slow, stead progress you are making.
Whatever, as long as you start somewhere.
Enjoy your final evening of 2015. I’ll see you in the New Year!
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Read more of the weekly comfort blog:
- May 31, 2017 How To Not Be Intimidated By Really Attractive People May 31, 2017
- Apr 21, 2017 How To Let Him Pursue You Apr 21, 2017
- Jan 18, 2017 A Note on Work Ethic Jan 18, 2017
- Nov 1, 2016 9 Thoughts on Christian App & Online Dating Nov 1, 2016
- Oct 25, 2016 A Note to The Creatives Oct 25, 2016
- Jul 31, 2016 A Note on Money Jul 31, 2016
- Jun 30, 2016 Like Does He Have A Car? Why Financial Stability Is So Important To Women Jun 30, 2016
- Jun 8, 2016 Part 5. Navigating Christian Dating Culture: The 10 Blindspots of Faith-Filled Single Gents Jun 8, 2016
- Jun 1, 2016 Part 4. Navigating Christian Dating Culture: The 10 Blindspots of Faith-Filled Single Ladies Jun 1, 2016
- May 26, 2016 Part 3. Navigating Christian Dating Culture: In Defence of the Friend Zone May 26, 2016
- May 19, 2016 Part 2. Navigating Christian Dating Culture: Some Practical Applications May 19, 2016
- May 10, 2016 Part 1. Introduction to Navigating The Christian Dating Culture May 10, 2016
- May 4, 2016 The Self-Respecting Person's Guide to Networking May 4, 2016
- April 2016
- Mar 30, 2016 The Love We Crave Series: Parents Mar 30, 2016
- Mar 24, 2016 A Note on Intimacy Mar 24, 2016
- Mar 17, 2016 So Cool Was SoCal: Mexican Food, Margaritas and Money Matters Mar 17, 2016
- Mar 6, 2016 So Far in SoCal: Observations from an Asian Australian Tourist Mar 6, 2016
- Feb 24, 2016 5 Truths to Help You Annihilate Self-Doubt Feb 24, 2016
- Feb 19, 2016 4 Reasons Why I'd Like To Stop Swearing Feb 19, 2016
- Feb 10, 2016 The 7 Benefits of Being Asian Feb 10, 2016
- Feb 1, 2016 4 Things You Need To Know About Your Personality Type Feb 1, 2016
- Jan 19, 2016 Part 3 – Figuring Out Who We Want To Be In A Relationship With Jan 19, 2016
- Jan 12, 2016 Part 2 - Figuring Out Why We Want To Be In A Relationship Jan 12, 2016
- Jan 11, 2016 Part 1 - Figuring Out What We Want In A Relationship Jan 11, 2016
- Jan 4, 2016 7 Strategies for Controlling Negative Emotions Jan 4, 2016
- Dec 31, 2015 The 1 New Year's Resolution That Will Actually Work Dec 31, 2015
- Dec 29, 2015 10 Questions to Test Your Self-Awareness & Self-Respect Dec 29, 2015
- Dec 21, 2015 5 Tips On Handling Rejection Well Dec 21, 2015
- Dec 12, 2015 7 Tips to Help You Kill It On Stage Dec 12, 2015
- Dec 7, 2015 Poetry: 5 Life Lessons That Took Me Forever to Understand Dec 7, 2015
- Dec 1, 2015 Short Story: Power Dec 1, 2015
- November 2015